Who the fuck decided eating fish eggs was gonna be something fancy? You know how shoeboxes have those little packs of crystals that say DO NOT EAT? Caviar tastes the way those things smell.
[Standby while he tries this on. Wow that's an impractical outfit. Where do his swords go?]
This actually fits a little too well. That's kinda creepy. Are they measuring us in our sleep?
Rich people get bored easy. That's why you get assholes eating endangered animals just because they can.
I've done a lot of shit in my career as a criminal. I'll steal anything and kill almost anyone, but you won't catch me poaching. Killing protected animals for some lazy bastard to shove down his fat gullet is pathetic.
[Len has a lot of feelings on this. His furs are sustainably sourced.]
Scanned us when we came in through the gate. That's my guess.
Better than mine. I stole some beat up station wagon as a getaway car. Worked out though, no one suspects the person in a beige station wagon.
I wanna lie and say my Camaro was silver, but really it didn't have any paint. Coulda been real sweet if I ever had the time to fix it up. But then I had to go and get myself killed which kinda delayed that little project.
Can't stand not being the one behind the wheel. Everyone drives too slow. And I thought I was giving you plenty of rides already.
I died saving the world. No one fucking believes me, but I did. Didn't work out too well for me. Everyone should learn from my mistakes: becoming a good guy is a load of fucking bullshit.
I believe you. Before I got here, I was up to my neck in the same crap. Running around after do-gooders in spandex trying to save the world. Half the job was keeping those idiots alive.
Those hero types have zero survival instinct. They wanna die in the name of the cause and be the next Mother Theresa. Idiots.
Did you wake up here? I've been trying to decide if we're in post-modern hell.
That's them exactly, they're almost fighting each other to be the one to get killed saving the place. Which didn't do much good since almost everyone got themselves dead at the end anyway. You know how shitty it is to die for the world and know it didn't even fucking matter? Cuz I do.
No. I woke up in the Netherrealm and... You know what, this is all going to sound fucking insane so I'd rather not explain what a shitbag Quan Chi is over text.
[He waits a bit, staring down at his fancy phone and wondering if he actually wants to talk about this. It's not like it's some big secret, Carlisle knew. That weird girl fucking Peter knew. But it's a little different telling Len. Someone who would judge him and it might matter a teensy bit somewhere in his burnt husk of a soul.
Eventually he does call him, sitting on a bench overlooking the barren wasteland outside Anchor. Time to air some dirty laundry in public.]
Whatever kind of tv show drama bullshit you think this is gonna be, it's really not.
[Funny. Len's leaning against a wall on the other side of the colony, staring out into the horizon. They're looking at the same picturesque view at opposing angles.
Sand and death as far as the eye can see.]
My bar is low. They don't get the good soap operas here.
[You bet your ass he watches Passion. It's chaos in a TV show.]
[He kicks up his feet on a railing because he's a model citizen over here.]
After I died, which I really don't recommend doing in the first place, I woke up in the Netherrealm. Which is like Hell I guess. Except real. And full of assholes.
Because this douchebag of a sorcerer, Quan Chi, raised everyone back as revenants. Me. My NYPD partner. The rest of the guys trying to save the world who died. A dozen of us.
If you filled the grand canyon with guts and set parts of it on fire, a little like that. It's got all these kind of rock formations and dirt. There's a beach but it's against a sea of blood so it looks and smells like ass.
You know that deer thing that follows me around? I had something similar back there. But bigger. And on fire. That's kinda a theme: blood and fire. But it's overdone - no imagination.
So me, but dead, and can't eat or sleep cuz you know, dead. And gotta do that assholes bidding. I'm still fucking pissed I didn't get to see Scorpion chop his head off.
Couldn't really feel pain though. So that's a plus.
[Couldn't feel anything but that's not the point.]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2020-05-01 05:01 am (UTC)Aight. I'll go to this thing assuming this outfit they gave me even fits.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-01 05:39 am (UTC)Mine fits like a glove.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-01 05:47 am (UTC)[Standby while he tries this on. Wow that's an impractical outfit. Where do his swords go?]
This actually fits a little too well. That's kinda creepy. Are they measuring us in our sleep?
no subject
Date: 2020-05-01 06:16 am (UTC)I've done a lot of shit in my career as a criminal. I'll steal anything and kill almost anyone, but you won't catch me poaching. Killing protected animals for some lazy bastard to shove down his fat gullet is pathetic.
[Len has a lot of feelings on this. His furs are sustainably sourced.]
Scanned us when we came in through the gate. That's my guess.
And I'm usually right.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-01 06:31 am (UTC)You know some high end rich folks. I'm lucky if the people paying out even bathe.
[And arms dealers rarely care about fancy game ranches or have ivory chairs. ]
Maybe. I broke a lot of that shit on the way in though.
1/2
Date: 2020-05-01 11:07 pm (UTC)What am I going to steal off a poor chump, their analog TV?
2/2
Date: 2020-05-01 11:08 pm (UTC)That's a hobby, not a job.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-02 05:10 am (UTC)This outfit probably cost more than my car. Feels fucking weird.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-02 06:35 am (UTC)You have a car?
I'm moving up in the world.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-02 07:36 am (UTC)I had a car. It's probably junked now.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-12 12:03 am (UTC)What was it. Some rust bucket of a caddy?
no subject
Date: 2020-05-12 01:04 am (UTC)It was a Camaro.
1/2
Date: 2020-05-12 03:12 am (UTC)2/2
Date: 2020-05-12 03:13 am (UTC)Black. Racing stripes. I was 16.
It was the most bad-ass car I'd ever seen.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-12 03:26 am (UTC)I wanna lie and say my Camaro was silver, but really it didn't have any paint. Coulda been real sweet if I ever had the time to fix it up. But then I had to go and get myself killed which kinda delayed that little project.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-12 04:03 am (UTC)Never did get around to taking my road test.
[Since Kabal is getting all honest on him...]
I like cars more than I like to drive. Riding shotgun is fine by me. Fast is fast.
Maybe you could give me a ride sometime.
Providing you didn't kill yourself in a car accident.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-12 04:43 am (UTC)I died saving the world. No one fucking believes me, but I did. Didn't work out too well for me. Everyone should learn from my mistakes: becoming a good guy is a load of fucking bullshit.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-12 04:57 am (UTC)I believe you. Before I got here, I was up to my neck in the same crap. Running around after do-gooders in spandex trying to save the world. Half the job was keeping those idiots alive.
Those hero types have zero survival instinct. They wanna die in the name of the cause and be the next Mother Theresa. Idiots.
Did you wake up here? I've been trying to decide if we're in post-modern hell.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-12 05:14 am (UTC)That's them exactly, they're almost fighting each other to be the one to get killed saving the place. Which didn't do much good since almost everyone got themselves dead at the end anyway. You know how shitty it is to die for the world and know it didn't even fucking matter? Cuz I do.
No. I woke up in the Netherrealm and... You know what, this is all going to sound fucking insane so I'd rather not explain what a shitbag Quan Chi is over text.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-12 05:49 am (UTC)[Badum tch.]
You know how to work a phone.
Call me or don't. Either way, I wanna hear the dirt on that Quan Chi douchebag.
Anyone who says they don't love drama is a liar.
-> Audio
Date: 2020-05-12 06:13 am (UTC)[He waits a bit, staring down at his fancy phone and wondering if he actually wants to talk about this. It's not like it's some big secret, Carlisle knew. That weird girl fucking Peter knew. But it's a little different telling Len. Someone who would judge him and it might matter a teensy bit somewhere in his burnt husk of a soul.
Eventually he does call him, sitting on a bench overlooking the barren wasteland outside Anchor. Time to air some dirty laundry in public.]
Whatever kind of tv show drama bullshit you think this is gonna be, it's really not.
Re: -> Audio
Date: 2020-05-13 06:20 am (UTC)Sand and death as far as the eye can see.]
My bar is low. They don't get the good soap operas here.
[You bet your ass he watches Passion. It's chaos in a TV show.]
And I don't got anything better to do.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-16 02:31 am (UTC)[He kicks up his feet on a railing because he's a model citizen over here.]
After I died, which I really don't recommend doing in the first place, I woke up in the Netherrealm. Which is like Hell I guess. Except real. And full of assholes.
Because this douchebag of a sorcerer, Quan Chi, raised everyone back as revenants. Me. My NYPD partner. The rest of the guys trying to save the world who died. A dozen of us.
And it fucking sucked.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-16 02:48 am (UTC)Mick and I had a bet. He said Skid-row, I said soccer practice for a Christian youth league.
[Len has folded himself up some way or another. He doesn't know how to sit like a normal human. Always has to have at least one leggy out.]
The hell is a revenant, anyway? A pissed off ghost? Was the worst part being stuck with those yahoos for the rest of eternity?
no subject
Date: 2020-05-16 03:01 am (UTC)You know that deer thing that follows me around? I had something similar back there. But bigger. And on fire. That's kinda a theme: blood and fire. But it's overdone - no imagination.
So me, but dead, and can't eat or sleep cuz you know, dead. And gotta do that assholes bidding. I'm still fucking pissed I didn't get to see Scorpion chop his head off.
Couldn't really feel pain though. So that's a plus.
[Couldn't feel anything but that's not the point.]
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