I'm starting to think the market for heirloom sterling silver teaspoons is a little dried up in space and this outfit doesn't have enough pockets for me to make off with the serving trays.
Who the fuck decided eating fish eggs was gonna be something fancy? You know how shoeboxes have those little packs of crystals that say DO NOT EAT? Caviar tastes the way those things smell.
[Standby while he tries this on. Wow that's an impractical outfit. Where do his swords go?]
This actually fits a little too well. That's kinda creepy. Are they measuring us in our sleep?
Rich people get bored easy. That's why you get assholes eating endangered animals just because they can.
I've done a lot of shit in my career as a criminal. I'll steal anything and kill almost anyone, but you won't catch me poaching. Killing protected animals for some lazy bastard to shove down his fat gullet is pathetic.
[Len has a lot of feelings on this. His furs are sustainably sourced.]
Scanned us when we came in through the gate. That's my guess.
Better than mine. I stole some beat up station wagon as a getaway car. Worked out though, no one suspects the person in a beige station wagon.
I wanna lie and say my Camaro was silver, but really it didn't have any paint. Coulda been real sweet if I ever had the time to fix it up. But then I had to go and get myself killed which kinda delayed that little project.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2020-04-29 04:58 am (UTC)Did you think it was X-mas?
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Date: 2020-04-29 05:13 am (UTC)That's how a bunch of my clothes showed up last time. Thought it was like that again.
Why you want to go to this thing?
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Date: 2020-04-29 05:20 am (UTC)I bet they're busting out the good china.
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Date: 2020-04-29 10:52 pm (UTC)That said.... there's gonna be food.
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Date: 2020-04-30 03:04 am (UTC)What else could you want?
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Date: 2020-04-30 03:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-04-30 04:04 am (UTC)Must be why they sent it to me.
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Date: 2020-04-30 04:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-04-30 04:46 am (UTC)Unless you get shit-faced at the party and wake up in a puddle of your own puke.
Then you'll have to use your imagination.
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Date: 2020-05-01 05:01 am (UTC)Aight. I'll go to this thing assuming this outfit they gave me even fits.
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Date: 2020-05-01 05:39 am (UTC)Mine fits like a glove.
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Date: 2020-05-01 05:47 am (UTC)[Standby while he tries this on. Wow that's an impractical outfit. Where do his swords go?]
This actually fits a little too well. That's kinda creepy. Are they measuring us in our sleep?
no subject
Date: 2020-05-01 06:16 am (UTC)I've done a lot of shit in my career as a criminal. I'll steal anything and kill almost anyone, but you won't catch me poaching. Killing protected animals for some lazy bastard to shove down his fat gullet is pathetic.
[Len has a lot of feelings on this. His furs are sustainably sourced.]
Scanned us when we came in through the gate. That's my guess.
And I'm usually right.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-01 06:31 am (UTC)You know some high end rich folks. I'm lucky if the people paying out even bathe.
[And arms dealers rarely care about fancy game ranches or have ivory chairs. ]
Maybe. I broke a lot of that shit on the way in though.
1/2
Date: 2020-05-01 11:07 pm (UTC)What am I going to steal off a poor chump, their analog TV?
2/2
Date: 2020-05-01 11:08 pm (UTC)That's a hobby, not a job.
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Date: 2020-05-02 05:10 am (UTC)This outfit probably cost more than my car. Feels fucking weird.
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Date: 2020-05-02 06:35 am (UTC)You have a car?
I'm moving up in the world.
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Date: 2020-05-02 07:36 am (UTC)I had a car. It's probably junked now.
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Date: 2020-05-12 12:03 am (UTC)What was it. Some rust bucket of a caddy?
no subject
Date: 2020-05-12 01:04 am (UTC)It was a Camaro.
1/2
Date: 2020-05-12 03:12 am (UTC)2/2
Date: 2020-05-12 03:13 am (UTC)Black. Racing stripes. I was 16.
It was the most bad-ass car I'd ever seen.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-12 03:26 am (UTC)I wanna lie and say my Camaro was silver, but really it didn't have any paint. Coulda been real sweet if I ever had the time to fix it up. But then I had to go and get myself killed which kinda delayed that little project.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-12 04:03 am (UTC)Never did get around to taking my road test.
[Since Kabal is getting all honest on him...]
I like cars more than I like to drive. Riding shotgun is fine by me. Fast is fast.
Maybe you could give me a ride sometime.
Providing you didn't kill yourself in a car accident.
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